Perous Secret Diary - Keep Out: April 10, 2008

fearn cotton and furry friends

bad vegitarian.

DTT to camberwell (to the perch) to photograph the beautiful 'fearn cottton'.

on the way there in the perou-mobile i was crying uncontrollably listening to THIS on radio 4.
warning: it's really not easy to hear.
frances was encouraging me just to turn the radio off but i felt we had a duty to hear it.
i don't think it's right just to ignore something if it's terrible to hear or see.

listening to Zawadi's story and how fucked things are in the east congo is so truly horrendous: it's hard to think it can be going on simultaneously to us with our ridiculously comfortable lives and pathetic concerns.
it's almost difficult to comprehend the absolute horror.

i find it VERY difficult to put stuff like this behind me just before a shoot.

the world trade towers came down mid a shoot i was doing with 'johnny vegas' at the perou-factory.
we all stopped and watched the news live, from before the 2nd plane hit.

and after watching people prefering to throw themselves out of a building rather than burn to death in it, and being totally shocked, we had to go 'ur...well...shall we carry on with the shoot then?' as the world would carry on.
but it was impossible to carry on being 'funny' and for johnny to pose for stupid trivial photos for an entertainment magazine.

the awful reality of the world vs trivial entertainment bullshit: like the time i came back from bosnia during the conflict and met a bosnian guy at a party who had escaped dressed as a woman.
and i said, 'i've just come back from bosnia'
he said 'what we you doing out there?'
and i crushed with guilt, apologetically said 'i was out there with the usso shooting 'hootie and the blowfish'
(how pathetic is that?)

he actually said, 'don't be guilty: it's really important for people in terrible situations to look at pictures and read about happier times: to know that there is something other than suffering somewhere else'.
his kind words didn't help my guilt much.

anyway, i digress.

i actually had a really nice time with fearne and got to know her a little more.
(her STRANGE obsession with 'led zeppelin' etc.)

;)

after the shoot, drove to heathrow and picked up my 4 new 22" chrome ginellis.
and drove back to east kent.

stopped at kwikfit to get the wheels switched and have picked up a rumble i didn't have before.
i don't like the way the rims look: they're boring.
boo.

btw. big thanks to everyone for klnd words after my obvious public outburst yesterday.
i'm usually very good at not caring what people think about me or my work...i was having a moment of weakness.

i'm back to bulletproof.
BANG